The Negative Dreamstate

By Leinir Turthra (leinir ad leinir.dk)

As the night slowly creeps

To fill the creatures of Earth with silent slumber

A single soul struggles in agony,

Unable to escape this world of constant threats…

Screaming without voice…

He's trapped inside The Negative Dreamstate

This trip would be the last. He was sure of that. The portal should, in his opinion, be donated to the science from which it had wrongly remained hidden for so long, since that day so many years ago when he found it in the loft. As he thought back on all those years he had had the portal he was now standing in front of he could not help but smile. How many good memories did he not have from behind it? Where ever behind it was. That, exactly, was the reason he would give it away. He did not know where he went when he went through it. Was it back in time on another continent? Did he travel through space to a different planet? A combination maybe? A dimensional gate to a different plane of existence? He was hoping science might be able to answer his questions.

Now he stood there again. In front of this mysterious portal, whose weak bluish light had so baffled him when he first saw it behind the loft door. He looked at it carefully, almost ceremonially. As was it the last time he would see it. The portal was actually just a circle. Not even a plate, simply a two-dimensional circle as you draw it on a piece of paper; it simply went against all the laws of physics. If you closed one eye and went over to one side of it and like at it, it would seem as if it was not there. It hovered some 2 inches above the floor, and you could easily move it, though when you stopped pushing it, it would stand still and not slide at all. He shook this strange, melancholic feeling off and started undressing. He had discovered that you could not take any non-live tissue with you to The Negative Dreamstate, which was the name he had given the place on the other side of the portal. He had once tried taking a camera, but it didn't work. When he came back and had the pictures developed, they were blank. The photographer friend who did it for him told him, that film had never been used!

He had taken off all his clothes and he now stood completely naked in front of the portal, which he had now learnt how to control. He could remember once when he had emerged in the middle of a village plaza. Many of those who were there knew him as a magi, which was what most people there thought. Most of the women just turned their eyes elsewhere, whilst many of the men were looking at him. To start with startled, but then they started laughing; He was, after all naked. Luckily, that sort of thing did not happen any more, now that he had learnt how to place himself exactly where he wanted in the world. He concentrated and walked through the portal…

As he emerged on the other side, he stood on a hilltop that he most definitely had not decided to go to. He had concentrated on landing in the small cabin he had in the bottom of a valley, which was very far indeed from where he was now. He based this assumption on the mountain chair he could see in the distance with the characteristic three peaks in the centre, standing up against each other. He had often wondered how they could stay upright in that seemingly impossibly mysterious way, but had accepted that magic was quite a part of everyday life in this world. He thought he had better go back through the portal and try again, but as he turned there was no portal. He walked a bit and turned around to see if the portal had turned itself; it had done that before. But there was no portal. Then he noticed something strange. He was wearing a kind of wrap-around skirt made from a silky soft cloth most people here used. The skirt resembled the kind of skirt worn by common men in ancient Egypt. He wondered how this had happened; he had always been naked when entering through the portal. But of course there was no way of figuring it out, neither why the portal had disappeared, nor why he was dressed. Thus he decided to try and find the portal. Even if it was admittedly a large place, the horizon was very rounded and he did not expect there were any other continents than the one he was on now.

As he arose to his feet, he saw a person approaching him up the hill. When the person reached him and stood up fully he saw that it was an old woman. She looked into his eyes and said that she knew who he was and from where he came. He was startled and frightened by this, for he had never told anyone here of his true origin. Thus, he was most relieved when she continued and said that he was Mongswai of the Serene valley near the Mæichrantru Mountains. She asked him to come with her to her village as someone there had awaited his return with longing in heart and mind. Mongswai followed the old lady, even if he did wonder who would be waiting for him in such a way.

When they arrived at the village, he remembered being there before. He had once saved their medicine man from certain death as he was attacked by an almost 30 foot long giant constrictor snake. He had also saved his daughter from a coma she had fallen in because she and her father had been locked in a very long distance sending when the snake attacked. The woman led Mongswai over to the medicine man's hut; the only in the village to house only two people: The medicine man and his daughter. Mongswai stepped through the low door, which was really only a hole in the clay wall covered with some thick hides. As he stood up, he saw a young woman standing on the other side of the open fireplace, bent over the hut's only source of light. She rose slowly and he saw that it was the medicine man's daughter. When he met her the first time she had not yet received her name, but he expected that as time had passed, she must have been given it. She looked at him with an open face, painted with a mix of recognition, wonde ing and joy. She hurriedly put down the cooing tray she was holding and ran as well as she could in the confined space of the hut over to the other side of the fire and hugged Mongswai tightly and kissed him tenderly. Mongswai, who was taken completely by surprise, had his arms out to either side and was generally so surprised he completely forgot to return her gesture. She pulled back a little and Mongswai saw that the feelings previously so strong on her face now were not, partially replaced by doubt and fright. She asked him what was wrong, if he, and here her otherwise light golden brown skin turned almost white, had been united with someone else. Mongswai, who had now shaken the first surprise off, answered that he had not. The medicine man's daughter was only more scared by this and asked him why he then had rejected her. He answered that he had not rejected her, that he was only a little stunned by the greeting she had given him. Then it suddenly dawned on him that she had said united with someone else in a voice as if she had expected he had come back to marry her. He took her shoulders in his hands and asked her if she had an Own, as the small private part of a hut, all unmarried in the village were entitled to, was called. When she showed it to him, he gently pushed her inside and closed the curtain behind them. He asked her if she knew what she was getting into. She did, there was no longer any doubts in her mind. She wanted to be united with him. Many had asked for her hand but she had, to the disappointment of both her father and the tribe, said no to them all; even the beautiful, friendly and rich son of the chief of a neighbouring tribe, who had then branded her a weirdo. But now he was here and her fate decided. He asked her if she was completely certain, and she was. She could not be more certain. He then asked her if he could tell her something, which might terrify her; something she could never tell on. She answered him that he could tell her anything and expect that not a thought should escape her mind about it, for she expected nothing less of him, should she ever need it. He then told her of his true origin and when he was done she looked at him with an if possible even more joyful gaze than before. She said almost laughing and with tears of happiness flowing down her cheeks that the prophecy had been fulfilled. It had been foretold that she was to be united with a man who was not of her world. Because he was becoming rather dizzy with this he asked her which name was hers and she answered him NeeNee. She had been given this name because of her way with bees. She could walk into a swarm and not be harmed. She could go to a bees' nest and take out the plates and not be hurt at all. She then told him stay where he was, and she ran out of her Own and a short while after returned with her father. NeeNee asked Mongswai to come outside, as there was only just room the two. When Mongswai came out he saw that the father did not look even the slightest bit older than the day he rescued him from the snake. The father wished him luck and happiness and asked him to sit by the fire and he would be back a short while later. As the father left the hut, Mongswai sat by the fire staring into the flames, trying to calm his roaring mind whilst NeeNee started making something to eat.

After about half an hour, or so it felt, the father returned and announced that that night there would be celebrations, and what celebrations they were. There was food and a bluish purple wine, which quickly got everyone in a very good mood. The entire village was gathered around a large long fire in the middle of the village, where upon whole pigs had been roasted on spears earlier. As Mongswai sat and thought through the events of the day that had passed, NeeNee suddenly said it was getting a bit boring and pulled him up from his seat and started dancing in rhythm with the calming music. He could almost feel the music materialising. It was strong though silent. Powerful though calm. At first he was a bit shy, but as more and more joined into the dance, so did his fear disappear. He slowly fell into the rhythm while he was dancing with who he thought was his bride to be. The truth was that this dance, in that they were the ones who initiated it, was the ritual of unification; in the eyes of the tribe they were now one. A whole. They danced all night and they were the last still standing. The warm, humid summer night echoed with the screams of pleasure that arise from the completion of the unity of man and woman.

In the evening the following day Mongswai and NeeNee woke up near a lake in the forest they had come to when they ran into the woods that same morning. Mongswai turned around as he felt a pulsating bluish light behind him. He woke NeeNee gently and asked her if she would like to come with him and see his world. She answered that there was nothing she would rather. They got up and went together through the portal. As he appeared on the other side he was suddenly not holding NeeNee's hand any longer. She was not there. He was going to go back to look for her, but as he turned to walk back through the portal, there was no longer any portal.

One day when the student returned to his new flat, he noticed a strange, pulsating bluish light coming from behind the door to his utility shed in the basement. He unlocked the door and opened it a bit. As he looked inside and discovered the source of the blue light he was intrigued. He was very interested in ancient Egypt and he had read about the thought gates somewhere, but here he was, actually looking at one of these mythical circles which, or so it was said, could give one access to your own fantasy. He had better call the Institute of Science and tell… That is how far he got before the portal folded in on itself in front of his eyes.

PS: The morale? Well, it's got something to do with fantasy and reality…

The Negative Dreamstate is © 1994 by Tirana of Anarchy and used here with permission.